I am using violence

If you have made a decision to stop using violence and abusive behaviour on your partner or others in your family, Shine would like to do what we can to support you. Changing old habits and behaviours is hard, but it is usually easier if you are getting support from family and friends, or from Shine or other community organisations.

People can change – but if you want to change, you will need to be determined and, as much as possible, surround yourself with people who will support that change, and challenge you when they see old, unhelpful behaviours. 

Attending a stopping violence programme has really helped a lot of people to change their behaviour. Shine’s No Excuses non-violence programme in Auckland runs groups for men and an individual programme for some men and for women. Shine’s group men's programme and most other similar programmes throughout NZ provide a welcoming and engaging environment where men can talk openly with other men and facilitators about their use of abusive behaviours. In our experience, people need to accept responsibility for their abusive behaviour, and talk openly about it, in order to change it. 

Read more about Shine’s No Excuses non-violence programme. 

You can ring our Helpline 0508-744-633 to find a programme near you or even if you just want to talk to someone and talk through your options. Another helpline option is 0800 Hey Bro, run 24/7 by He Waka Tapu.

Or you may want to look at the National Network of Stopping Violence Services website to find a programme near you; many non-violence programmes throughout the country are listed on this website. 

You can find a full list of Ministry of Justice approved non-violence programme providers here - look for the Register of of safety and non-violence programme providers.

Click here to chat with one of our Helpline team